MAZHAB MERA

Mera Majhab hai kya maan baap se jo mujko mila

sar pe rakhi hui ek bhari si gathri hai ye

Khol kar jisko kabhi maine na dekha ab tak

Bas musalsal ise dhoe hi chala aata hoon

Kholne baitha to tha, dekhen chalo kya hai is mein

Jab main chota tha bahut, un dinon ek baar kabhi

Tab mujhe daant diya tha baron ne ghar ke

Hai buri baat, sawalon mein uljho na abhi

Jo Mazhab ka ye masla hai, zarori hai bahut

Jab bare hoge, samjh joege bacche ho abhi,

Abhi mazhab ko samajh paana tumhare bas mein nahin

Ab to unko bhi beete hue ek arsa hua

Kaam ke itni rahi hogi ye gathri jinke

Unki amaanat hai mere zimme ab

Unke sar ki ye gathri hai, mere sar pe

Kaafi bhaari hai, kabhi socha hai neeche rakh doon

Dekhoon to khol ke kya hai ismein

Himmat nahin parti lekin

Who jo ek dar hai bhara man mein mere bachpan se

Wahi dar aaj bhi jinda hai, mere man mein

Sochta reh jaata hoon ki jisko uthae sar par

Sadiyon se dhote chale aaye hain purkhe, kal tak

Kuch to hoga hi, zaroori hi raha hoga par

Kholte unko bhi maine to na dekha ab tak

Aur kuch wakht ise yon hi liye chalta hoon

Phir mere bête ki baari hogi de doonga use

Us ko bhi kar doonga takeed ki ye 'Mazhab' hai

Aur zaroori hai sabhi ka ise dhote rehna

Kholna dekhna aur sochna 'Naawajib' hai

Ye hi to mujhse kaha tha mere maan baap ne aur,

Ye hai main dhyaan rahe, tum ko bhi samjhaata hoon

Ismein hai jo bhai zaroori hai, na kuch sawal karo,

Mein bhi barson se ise yon hi liye aata hoon

Aisa par hoga nahin aisa mujhe lagta hai

Ye sahi hai ki mere purkhe ise sar par rakh

Silsilewar chale aaye bina khole hi

Aage ki pushton ko mushkil hai magar samjhaana

Kyon rahen dhote, bina jaanche bina tole hi

Mera beta hai nai soch nai fikron kaa

Wo ise kholega dekhega ki kya hai is mein

Itna bhaari bhi hai kyon itna jaroori bhi hai kya

Mein to ye kar nahin paaya kabhi himmat na pari

Baap jab thakne laga tha to sar par rakh li

Apne purkhon ke bharose ko liye chalta raha

Na sawalaat kiye aur naa koi shaq hi kiya

Par ye zamana hai alag, waqt bhi thora hai juda

mera bêta bhi bina dekhe nahin dhoega

Wo to kholega ise dekhega aur parkhega

kyon ise dhote raho, ismein zaroori bhi hai kya

Sochta hoon mein, ki jo nikle zaroori ho bahut

Kaam ka ho mere purkhon ka yakin

isko uthaaye chale ana, bekaar na ho

aur naye daur se mein aankhen churaoon, na Mauju badloon

Na kabhi sochta reh jaoon ki bête ki tarha,

Khol ke dekh liya hota zara pehle agar

Kya pata sar pe uthae to na chalna parta

Sochta hoon ki jo nikle wo aisa bhi na ho

Chor ke jisko, aage bhi na barh paata mein

Hoke azad wazan se, utha sar apna

Chhati bhar saans na bhar paata mein

Mera beta ise kholega, dekhega aur sochega

Aur utha kar kahin rakh dega kisi kone mein

Uski marzi ke mutabik agar ye kuch na hua

Aur us rooz bhari gathri mere mazhab ki

Ye jo sadiyon se rakhi sar pe chali aati hai

Kisi kone mein kisi mor pe reh jaayegi

Wo nikal jaayega us roz kisi aur kahin

Jis taraf se use manzil ki sada aati hai

Log wo thore juda the jo the mazhab wale

Ab shiwaalon mein na masjid mein khuda hai milta,

Har Khuda ka naya Mazhab, nahin Mazhab main Khuda

Kabhi kisi ko muqammal jahaan nahin milta

KABHI KISI KO MUQAMMAL JAHAAN NAHIN MILTA

Pengong Tso

For no particular reasonI am reminded of my days in Laddakh today

I am reminded of 'PengongTso'

Lake 'Pengong Tso'

I have spent some of my most memorable days,most creative days on the shores of 'Pengong Tso'

In Laddakhi language, lake is called 'Tso'

Lake 'Pengong',     -     'Pengong Tso'

As a newly commissioned 2^nd Lieutenant I found my self in Leh on my way to my unit further up on the Line of Control. The first experience of Leh was humbling to say the least. Rising barren mountains , not a speck of grass other than on the shores of rivers and streams and freezing temperatures. I was simply awe struck. I went berserk with my 35mm SLR Camera.

After a few days of acclimatization I was loaded on a 'Shaktiman'  and I  was off  to my unit. The introduction to unit , was some thing I will talk about some other time. To day it is 'Pengong Tso' calling. A few days in the unit and I was off again further up, bang on the border, where India ends.In the most hostile environment I had ever experienced in life, in actual battle like conditions, I found my self parked next to the  most beautiful lake that I have ever seen till date. She was  'Pengong Tso'

'Pengong Tso'does not end where India ends.

As if to say, these boundaries are your boundaries.

They don,t apply to me.

I am  the daughter of Laddakh.

She goes right into China,   -    miles into China

She, I was told is 140 sqare km in size, half in India, half in China.

Like a link of love  between two estranged brothers

What hit me was the vast expanse of the lake and complete lack of visitors or habitation around the lake.  I refer to her as a person because she has entertained me, soothed me, calmed my anxieties given me great creative insight, some thing I didn't know I was capable of and in general made me delve deep into my soul, explore within and become a more complete person.

'Pengong Tso' I remain eternally indebted to you and in love with you.

 I have experienced many emotions in company of her and one of them goes as under,

"Aaj jab mein yahaan is post par baitha hoon mere theek aage ye khoobsoorat Jheel 'Pengong Tso'  hai, Lake 'Pengong Tso'. Ye kaisi vidambanaa hai ki kudrat kaa ye khoobsoorat  karishama  kewal ek  Battlefield   ban kar reh gaya hai. Pataa nahin kyon mujhe aisa lagta hai ki 'PengongTso' hum se kuch kehti hai ,  hum insaanon se, jinhone is ke do tukre kar daaale hain. Mere dil mein jo khayaal uth rahein hain kuch is tarhaa se hain,"  ------

 

KHUDAA  NE  BANAAYAA  THA  JAB  YE  NAZAARA

YE  DUNIYAN  MEIN  SAARE  JAHAAN  SE  THA  NYAARA

THAA  KITNAA  YE  DILKASH,  THA  JAANAT  SE PYAARA

AE  'PENGONG  TSO'  TERAA  SUNDAR  KINAARAA

 

KUDRAT  YAHAAN  CHAEN  SE  REH  RAHI  THI

KHUSHBAAS  THANDI  HAWA  BEH  RAHI  THI

YAHAAN  AASMAAN  THAA  JAMAANE  SE  BEHTAR

YAHAAN   KITNA  CHAMKEELAA  THA  HAR  EK  SITAARA

AE  PENGONG TSO  TERAA  SUNDAR  KINAARA

 

MAGAR  EK  DIN  EK  INSAAN  AAYA

USE  YE  AMAN  CHAEN  BILKUL  NAA  BHAAYA

KHARE  HOKE  PARVAT  PE  USNE  PUKAARA

YAHAAN  MAEN  RAHOONGA  YE  MERA  HAI  SAARA

NAHIN  USKE  SAATHI  KO  THAA  YE   GAVAARA

YAHAAN   PHOOT  NIKLAA  LAHOO KAA PHUHAARA

AE   PENGONG  TSO  TERAA  SUNDAR  KINAARA

 

TARAKKI   PASAND  DUNIYAN   KI  SAUGAAT  YE  HAI

VAHI   KHOOBSOORAT   SI   PENGONG  TSO   HAI

AMAN   CHEN  JAJBAAT  SAB  KHO  GAYE  HAIN

TUKRE  BHI  AB  ISKE  DO  HO  GAYE  HAIN

YE  ITNAA  HAI  MERA  VO   UTNA  TUMHAARA

 AE  PENGONG TSO  TERAA  SUNDAR  KINAARA

 

KISI  NE  NAA  TUJH  SE  KABHI  KUCH  BHI  POOCHA

TERE  DARD  KAA  NAA  KABHI  KUCH  BHI  SOCHA

TERAA  JISM  BAANTAA  GAYA  JIS  GHARI  TAB

ROYAA  THA  CHUPKE  SE  SAARA  NAZAARA

AE  PENGONGTSO  TERA  SUNDAR  KINAARA

Kabhi kabhi sochta tha, ki yehi Pengong Tso agar kahin aurhoti  to iske paas bhi log hote, mehfil lagti.Jo khushi mujhe mili hai vo kitne aur logon ko milti.

Pengong , tere paas khoobsoorti hai par kadradaan nahin hain, aur agar kadradaan jyaada ho gaye aur Lakes ki tareh to ye khoobsoorti nahin reh paayegi jyadaa din.   Sach hi to hai,

KABHI  KISI  KO  MUQAMMAL  JAHAAN  NAHIN  MILTA

 

APNE TO APNE HOTE HAIN

Reunions are great. Especially the family reunions. There is so much to talk, so much to complain, so much to laugh about and so much to brood over. This is no different. Almost every one is here,

Buaa bahut burhaa gayi hain.

Diabetes has taken its toll. Face gives away the fatigue. She connects more to our generation than the one she belongs to, that of our parents. She is the youngest daughter of DadaJi and the age difference in her and the eldest sibling was some 18 years or so. She is also one of the two still breathing from her generation, the other being Papa Ji. And since Papa Ji was not able to come, Bua or 'Khalaa Jaan' as I lovingly call her, has suddenly found her self to be the eldest and in a great dilemma because of the greatness thrust upon her. Trying to strike balance between the newly acquired senior citizenship status and the child in her, Khala has failed miserably to every one's great relief. Some people are simply not meant to grow old. Our Khalaa is one of them. Be it age or illness, you are our generation Khalaa, and you dare not cross over.

Babbu, Dabbu bhi hain. Bare ho gaye hain , mote bhi.

They retain their tremendous sense of humor. Specially Dabbu. He is a Zonal Manager of some Drug Company and quite senior in hierarchy but here he is what he has always been. A chubby creature cracking jokes and pulling the leg of every one in sight. His wife and Baby, our sister are two of his targets today. And every one is in splits.

Baby apni bitiyaa 'Fairy' ke saath aayi hai

Baby ; one of the only two sisters between us, seven brothers, has had a tough life. Although she looks exquisite, and carries her self with great style but her pain is evident. She has had a failed marriage. I pity the guy who had and lost her. After separation she has looked after both her children all by her self and has done so well. The daughter reflects the upbringing she has received. Baby is very dear to me. My love for a girlchild has its roots in my love for her. I was five years old staying with DadaJi while PapaJi was in NEFA ( Arunanchal Pradesh) and was the youngest in the house than. We didn't have a sister. And than one day when I came back from school; MaaJi ( our Dadi) introduced me to the newest member of the family born to Vidya Chachi. I just couldn't wait for her to grow up and play with me. She took ages to grow up but when she did, she filled a void in my life. She has been special to me. It pains to see her alone, fighting the battle of life, and it fills me with pride to see the strength she displays. She was named 'Seema' initially and one day I changed her name, to 'DeepShikha', just like that. Actually it was lot of hard work. I had to rewrite all the Labels on books and notebooks. Her daughter has shaped up as a fine young women, every bit her mothers daughter.

Anoop BhaiSahib hameshaa ki tarah ' Lost Case' ki tarah ghoom rahe hain.

We have all gathered for the marriage of Anil Bhai Sahib's son, 'Bittu'. Anil BhaiSahib, TauJi's son and Anoop Bhai Saahib's elder brother, is no more. He decided not to wake up on the very day our other sister 'Guddi' was to get married. Strange coincidence it was. Ashok Bhai Saahib, the eldest of our brothers had departed a year ago in a factory accident. And than Anil Bhai Saahib went and that completely broke TauJi and TaaiJi. They lost the will to live. Loosing two of the three sons within one year, both at the young age of about thirty five was too much to take. It was only a matter of time before they would pass away. Anoop Bhai Saahib too has done some thing to his 'heart' and refuses to get operated. He retains his carefree boyish charm and face, but he is now the eldest in our generation, and tries to behave accordingly. He too fails, like Khaala. He has two chubby daughters who some how come across as more mature and worldly wise than him. But he is a darling. He is the one who has made sure every one comes for the marriage.

Pankaj BhaiSahib NeeraJiji Paramjit bhai bhi pahunche hain

I have issues with them, the pain of being let down by some one who one placed lot of faith on, is very sharp, very piercing.

Waqt nikal jaata hai, baatein reh jaati hain

But they are here and we are all trying to pretend there are no issues. This pretence is getting to all of us. But we don't let the wounds bleed. Pain is on both sides. I know. May be there were reasons I am not aware of , may be. But today it is a happy occasion after ages in the family. We have all made deliberate efforts to come together. We are not letting any thing spoil the mood. Apne phir apne hote hain.

Ye kahaani to abhi shuru hui hai.

Ye kahaani lambi chalegi.

Ye kahaani phir sahi.

life in a joint family, offers little bit of every thing.
some happy moments, some painful ones, some laughters, some scars, some betrayals some sacrifices.

KABHI KISI KO MUQAMMAL JAHAAN NAHIN MILTAA.

AANE WAALE KE MAN MAIN ASMANJAS -----

Dar saa lagtaa tha,
When 'Dada Ji' used to sleep in the 'Baithak' on 'Chataai'
The main room in the house was called ' Baithak'
It was reserved for the head of the family
Or guests,
And 'Dada ji' was the head of the family'
Ghar main wo 'Kharaaun' ( Wooden slippers ) pehente the,

So when 'Atal Ji' says,

BABA KI BAITHAK MAIN BICHI CHATAI,
BAAHAR RAKKHE KHARAAON,
AANE WALE KE MAN MEIN ASMANJAS,
JAAOON YAA NAA JAAUN ."

Some thing in the heart, __ connects

Papa ji would not speak to him, unless spoken to
he would never look into his eyes
Nor would any of his brothers, my Tauji or ChachaJi,

but it was different with us
We were grand children
We could get away with any thing
Almost

He would return from the shop every day,
He would have brought some thing for us children,
'Jalebi', or 'Kalakand' or 'Rabri'
He would ensure we all got our share equally'

During Summers it would be 'Mangoes'
Or 'Kharbujaas' or 'Tarbooj' in a big 'Baalti' full of water,
in winters it would be ' Gaajar kaa Halwa '
made in a big 'Karahi' in the big 'Aangan'

His 'Radio' , the only one in the house,
Would take ages to come to life,
And would play only 'All India Radio'
News, some times classical music
Playing movie songs was , well, Sin
And no one dared change the rules.

He would quote from 'Bhagwat Geeta' or 'Mirza Ghalib'
'Kabeer' or ' Ramaayan' at every occasion
He knew the tables from 2 to 100
With fractions in between
Table of 2.25, of 2.50, of 2.75' and so on
He was a walking talking calculator
He had been a Munim at some point of time in his life.
He would take us children to 'Company Baag' every morning
And we would go through the ordeal, still sleeping.
He was strict but a simple soul
We would cheat on him often
Or so we thought,
And he would get cheated,
willingly , smilingly
now we know.

He would eat four 'Phulkas' sharp at eight in the night,
He would chew every morsel 'thirty two' times,
He would walk hundred steps after dinner,
'Shatpadi' it was, he told us,
Just about adequate for proper digestion after dinner,

Festivals will be centered around him
He will do the 'pooja' only then we could touch the Diwali 'crackers',
Or the Holi 'colors',
he would eat, and than we would get to eat
the 'Halwa Poori' and ' Kheer'

He was the living 'Deity'
What we learned around him, we never learned in any school,

All of this and more flashed in front of my eyes as I entered the
family home after some twenty years. I had gone for a marriage
of my elder cousin's son. Bhai Saahib, my cousin too has departed
since than and so many others, Dadaji, Maaji, Ashok and Anil Bhaisaahib ,
Tauji, Taiji, both the Chacha Ji's and Vidya Chachi, my foster mother
Almost every one who made that house, the home that it used to be.

I stopped going there, I just couldn't
and than I entered the house again, after more than tweenty years
it was amazing, how every thing was same and yet nothing was femiliar

Us 'Makaan' main to pahunch gayaa par us 'Ghar' ko dhoondta raha,

Ab Baithak ke baahar Kharaaoon nahin hain
na kisi ko koi dar yaa asmanjas hai, andar jaaoon yaa naa jaaoon
Dadaji ab so chuke hain,
sadaa ke liye

Kuch puraane log mile bhi, to waqt ki raftaar se haare thake se.
khud main bhi to ab wo kahaan raha .
samay bahut aage le aaya hai hum sab ko

Chalo sab na sahi
par kuch log to abhi hain
jo mujhe usi dunia main hone kaa ehsaas
ab bhi de jaate hain,
itna bhi kyaa kam hai ?

KABHI KISI KO MUQAMMAL JAHAAN NAHIN MILTAA

TERE HONE SE MUJHE, ITNI TASALLI QUON HAI -

It is 29 th March once again.

Life has continued to flow at its own pace. It was twenty two years ago that you had joined me in this journey of life.

Jyaada kuch thaa nahin tab paas hamare. Kuch sapne the wo bhi dare dare se.

We belonged to different castes and there were any amount of hurdles in getting parents to agree, my parents ie. Caste, Dowry and the biggest being your medical problem, the prospect of never be able to become parents. All those events cloud my mind to day but life had its own plans, its own designs. We have been blessed so much by 'Him' that I really don't have a heart to desire any thing from him anymore. The biggest of them being what we had discounted at the very beginning, our child.

It all seems only yesterday.
Kal ki si baat lagti hai.

The best that I could ever express my emotions, my gratitude, was when I wrote this poem on our 'Tenth' wedding anniversary. That emotion, kept private till now, I share with all on this day, in celebration of 'Twenty Two' years of our togetherness,

" BAAD MUDDAT KE BHI TU, ITNI NAYEE SI QUON HAI,
TERE HONE SE MUJHE, ITNI TASALLI QUON HAI ,,

TU NAHIN SAB SE HASIN ITNEE BAREE DUNIYAN MEIN
MERI DUNIYAN MEIN MAGAR TUJH SAA HASIN KOI NAHIN ,
TERE HONE SE HI AABAAD HAI JEEVAN MERA
MERI JO BHI HAI TAMANNA WO TUJHI SE QUON HAI ,,

TERE HONE SE MUJHE, - - - - - -

TOONE MUJH KO JO DIYAA HAI WO BHULAAOON KAISE
PYAAR SAAGAR SAA TERAA DOOB NA JAAON KAISE ,
MAINE TUJH JAISE HI SAATHI KI TAMANNA KI THI
TUJH SE HAR LAMAHA MUHABBAT MERI BADHTI QUON HAI ,,

TERE HONE SE MUJHE, - - - - - -

MUJH SE TU JAAN HAMESHAA YE MUHABBAT RAKHNA
MERI SAANSON, MERI DHARKAN, MERE SAPNON MEIN
HAMESHAA BASNA,
MERE QHWAABON MEIN NAYE RANG TU BHARTI REHNA
MERI UMMEED, MERI AASHA, MERAA SAPNAA TU HAI ,,

TERE HONE SE MUJHE, TNI TASALLI QUON HAI -

ITNI TASALLI QUON HAI - - - - - - "

Allthough I always say,

KABHI KISI KO MUQAMMAL JAHAAN NAHIN MILTAA

But then ,

mere jeevan mein magar
kuch Muqammal hota bhi agar,

is se jyaadaa kyaa hotaa.

And lest I forget to say once again, -- I love you Lil,
I love you

Boond jo ban gayi Moti, - - - - - - -

To day, I am reminded of a poem, I read as a child. It was actually in our Hindi text book. The trigger is the anxiety, the uncertainty, lingering on in the young minds struggling to chart out a worthwhile course for them selves. Some thing that I share on daily basis being the father of one. The poem goes like this,

J/UON NIKAL KAR BAADALON KI GOD SE

THI ABHI EK BOOND KUCH AAGE BARHI

SOCHNE PHIR PHIR YAHI MAN MAIN LAGI

AAH KYON GHAR CHOR KAR MEIN YUN CHALI

DAIV MERE BHAGYA MAIN HAI KYA BADA

MEIN BACHUNGI YA MILOONGI DHOOL MAIN

YA JALOONGI GIR ANGARE PAR KISI

CHU PAROONGI YA KAMAL KE PHOOL MAIN

BEH GAI US KAAL IK AISI HAWA

WEH SAMUNDAR OR AAYI ANMANI

EK SUNDAR SEEP KAA MUNH THA KHULA

WO USI MAIN JAA PARI MOTI BANI

LOG YUNHI HAI JHIJHAKTE SOCHTE

JAB KI UNKO CHORNA PARTA HAI GHAR

KINTU GHAR KO CHOORNA AKSAR UNHAIN

BOOND LAU KUCH AUR HI DETA HAI KAR

When I go back to my struggling days it was the same anxiety, the same uncertainty and the hurry to get going. Having finally found my ground and having been walking on it for a good part of my life now, is there a sense of fulfillment, any sense of achievement, I am forced to at times think. Yes to the extent of having fulfilled my duties as a son, a husband or a father there is no regret. But was that all to my existence? There was one more relation that needed to be done justice to, that with the 'Self'. And in doing justice to others, have I done injustice to self. And if the answer is 'No' than, has it been worth it. Questions which have no easy answers.

Boond 'Moti' to ban Gayi par us 'Moti' kaa kya ho paaya. Kya us ko apna mukaam mil saka ?

For the drop of water which had set out with an uncertain future, turning into a 'Pearl' may have been a very big achievement. But once it turned into one, does it not fill her with even greater anxiety. The drop of water could have accepted the ignominy of falling in dust or evaporating in fire, the same however is not easy to take for a 'Pearl' which is born to be adored and loved. It is the aspiration of every 'Pearl' to finally be adorned in a worthwhile piece of jewellery. It can not accept being ignored.

Hence every step one climbs on the ladder of success one makes himself even more vulnerable to anxieties., the fear of becoming irrelevant some day. To quote SRK's biggest fear, 'What if I get up one day and find that no one recognizes me or runs for autograph'. Big deal, a normal human being would say, but very real fear for a man at the very pinnacle of success.

The success there for needs to be measured in terms of duties fulfilled selflessly and personal dreams realized without compromising on convictions and not if people around, or how many have taken notice. To be able to remain relevant to the out side world, one has to remain relevant to inner self and to the loved ones.

I am no SRK. My fear is more basic and simple.

What if I do not recognize my own self when I look into the mirror one morning?

What if the whole world runs after me, but my near and dear ones stop acknowledging me.

Will this price be justified to pay for any amount of success. ---- Naa hhhhh - - - - - - -

Rahe mere sapne to mere apnon ke sapne bhi to mere hi hain,

Kya karein, kitni bhi koshish kar lein

KABHI KISI KO MUQAMMAL JAHAAN NAHIN MILTA

dreams

Your dreams, my dreams - - -

It is interesting,
this communication with the new generation,
I find myself reacting to it, commenting upon it more these days. It is interesting. How the situations are contemporary but the same old fears are playing up. How the insecurities are the same even the context is the same most of the times, but the setting is new, the stage and the props are latest and the players are young.
When I was growing up, as one of three children of my father,- a teacher,- I had this constant urge to make some thing out of my life. My concerns were simple. I must start earning as soon as possible. There were after all, two more in line. I eventually got my first salary at age twenty four. I used to think of being relevant, important and the first among equals in my circle, professional and personal.
It used to be a simple world those days, comparatively. A government job , a decent salary was the only dream of parents for their children.
All though I had my own.
I did try to suggest to my father of becoming an artist ; to join art school, to pursue fine arts. He asked me how would I earn my daily bread and I didn't have the heart to tell him that bread will have to wait, that I would rather pursue my dream, and that, you, - my father,- may have to foot the bill, till then.
His concern was not lost on me.
There were after all two more in line, growing up fast ; presenting the same dilemma to a father with modest means. I didn't encourage the artist in me. I put my dream to sleep. I went for the 'Bread' instead, as soon as I could.
It is all so long back in life, yet it seems only yesterday.
I see the same fears, the same dilemma playing up in same measure in the present generation. In fact more forcefully. And even greater urge to dream and go after it. Jumping with joy one day, being morose the other day. Feeling important one day and neglected the other day.
One can identify with the insecurities.
It is after all a world of instant noodles, five minutes fame and one day celebrities. Reality TV has encroached every day life. Life is tough. Every day struggle to remain relevant is almost a survival issue. One who is not relevant is not in the reckoning, one who is not in reckoning may well be dead. Hence the unnecessary controversies, the real life situations played out in public, the tears, the betrayals even death, whether some one else's or one's own ( and I refrain from taking names because I don't want to be judgmental ) is a means to remain relevant. These are cruel times. These are difficult times. The underlying fears, the concerns are same, the magnitudes have multiplied many fold, the implications are more severe, in the minds of this restless generation.

Yet some thing is different

at least in our context,

To you my dear, who brings me to these questions time and again, I have this to say

I put the artist in me to sleep and went for 'Bread', not because my dreams were unreal or I had any less confidence in them. I too was young and I too needed to be relevant. Only the 'Bread' at that point in time took precedence. And no hard feelings ' Papa Ji'.
You don't have to suffer such dilemma, for this old man knows the worth of 'Dreams' and the pain of unfulfilled ones. And also the fact that 'Dreams' must precede every thing in a young man's life.

You will get what I didn't. A chance to go after your dreams.

As regards me ,

I draw solace in the fact,

KABHI KISI KO MUQAMMAL JAHAAN NAHIN MILTA

My home my plnet - - -

My home my planet - - - - -

The earth will finish in --- years
The life will come to an end by - - - -
Dooms day is here,

we go on ,

very concerned, with the state of affairs on our planet,
We are destroying it fast,
We are using up every thing,
In five hundred years we would have used up all natural resources,
And will need another Earth to sustain us,

But the other Earth is not there !!!!!!!

The earth doesn't have much time left. ------- We go on,

Correct facts -- Arrogant analysis,
Nothing new, though,
We the humans are an arrogant species any way,
Billions of years ago a planet developed around our son ,
one of many,
We know it as 'Earth' today,
The Earth , than existed, as a ball of fire,
without the humans offcourse,
it did exist, however,

The ball of fire cooled, and miracle of life happened,
The life form has existed for billions of years,
Many things have happened during this period,
Millions of species have come to live and vanished,
Earth has existed as home for all these species,
And did not finish,
when any of these species became extinct,
Which count in millions,

We are, but one of millions of species which have come and gone
We too will be gone
But the Earth will not finish with us,

We harbor such misplaced notion of our importance as a species,
Let us consider this,
The most famous species, OK , after 'Homo Sepians'
if our arrogance insists,

the Dinosaurs

lived for three billions or so years,
And were gone one day,
Just like that,
Did mother nature care ?
It got busy with the process of creation once again,
and the 'Humans' came to existence,

The Earth survived

We would also be gone one day,

But the Earth will survive,
Without the humans, may be,
but it will,
Some other species will come to dominate the life cycle, on our planet,
May be more intelligent and more sensible,
mother nature will move on.
We are, but one, of millions of species which have come and gone
before us,
We are not special even if our arrogance makes us think so,
Other than may be in one way,

No other species has expedited and ensured, its own extinction,
We will ,-- most certainly,
And take away with us many more species,

we are special -- most intelligent,
after all.
But however special, or great we may be,
We still, will not be able to do complete damage,
One life form, or the other, will survive,
Deep down somewhere, in the deep seas, or in the gorges

The earth will recoup its resources ,
destroyed by us humans,
in few million or billion years,
And the life will bloom.

And even when life is gone,
The earth will still be there
Frozen in time, or
as a ball of fire may be

But it will be there,

Our Earth,
is only changing form,
It is only shifting priorities
Dinosaurs yesterday- humans today - who knows what tomorrow

Earth is not dying in a hurry, - we are
We the humans may have understood this truth
and hence, will worry about it always in future, but
We the humans,
will not be able to help it – never
Our knowledge tells us.
Scared, we are destined to be, - in our knowledge
Other species don't under stand this
Blessed they are in their ignorance

Hamaare pas Gyan jyadaa hai, is liye dar bhi jyadaa hai
Unko dar nahin hai, kyounki Gyan hi nahin hai

Like I always say, -

KABHI KISI KO MUQAMMAL JAHAAN NAHIN MILTA